Murphy's Laws
by Wintereyeshine
Summary: A few One-shots about some characters with Murphy's/Sod's Laws as prompts. (Hoshi no Kaabi based)
1. If it's stupid but it works

Murphy's Laws. Or Sod's Laws for all my fellow English chaps of course ;)

Written because I _have_ other stuff I _should_ be working on, I just don't want to. I'm not sure if this has been done before in the Kirby fandom, but I'm sure they'll forgive me if it has. Rated K+? No real swearing or violence.

Disclaimer: Not mine, at all. If I did own Meta Knight, he would certainly have his wings in _Hoshi no Kaabi_.

Most of these mini crack things will be based around Meta Knight, Garlude and Knuckle Joe's father Jecra. Though others may make little appearances.

Meta Knight may seem to be a little out character, but my head cannon is that he was … a little less reserved? … before Jecra and Garlude died. Besides, who doesn't love a little Meta Knight Sass. Jecra for me is a lot like his son in the way that he's a bit more comic relief based than Meta Knight, and Garlude for me seems like she would be a bit of a worrier about her two boys ;)

I'm almost sorry I wrote these...Almost

Also, I'm not sure how many of these will appear.

–

_If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid _

"This is ridiculous" Meta Knight drawled.

"It is not!" Jecra's indignant cry rang out around the trio's make shift hiding spot. Garlude quickly turned from peering around the edge of the boulder cluster they were crouched behind and smacked the purple warrior around the back of the head.

"Shh! We are _hiding_ Jecra!" she managed to growl and whisper at the same time, the glare alone was enough to make the purple warrior tremble in his boots. Satisfied that the moron would be quieter, Garlude returned to her watch.

Jecra scowled at the way Meta Knight managed to look smug even through his mask, "It _will_ work." His confidence would not be squashed by his, admittedly bad ass, midget companion.

Meta Knight failed to stop the sigh, "it's just a myth Jecra, they don't really do it." He paused, sighing again in resignation, albeit with a dash of poorly contained humour. "But, if you're really set on it, don't complain to me the next time we pass through a town and you can't afford a drink." Smug level: Intense.

"After this, you are gonna owe me that drink." The warrior huffed at the Knight, pulling out a gold coin before leaping up onto the boulder currently shielding them from enemy sight. The sight of several hundred small rodent like demon beasts met him as they turned to gaze up at him, astonished at his sudden appearance. The beasts were small, weak and undeniably stupid, but their numbers were not something to shake a stick at.

The area went deadly quiet in the moment of sudden shock and Jecra thrust his hand into the air, thousands of eyes following the gesture.

"LOOK! _SHINY!_" he exclaimed, the blasting sunlight gleaming off of the small reflective coin.

Garlude's splutters of disbelief were drowned out by a collective entranced "_OOH~" _from the demons. Before they could regain their, rather small, thoughts. Jecra hurled the coin off of the nearby cliff with one last, confidently shouted _"FETCH!"_

Another, briefer, bout of baffled silence rattled through the area, with the exception of Garlude's mumbles of dubiousness growing in volume. Then, as one. The demons scrambled after the coin in a mad dash, throwing themselves clear off the cliff's edge in their utter enthrallment of getting the shiny object.

Those that hadn't heard Jecra or seen the coin, followed their brethren off of the edge out of pure instinct until not one was left.

Leaving three, very, gob-smacked star warriors.

"I-I can't believe that worked" Jecra mumbled at the same time that Meta Knight and Garlude voiced the same opinion. Regaining composure in a desperate scramble, the shield bearing warrior rounded on Meta Knight, "HA! I _told_ you that would work! Lemmings _always _jump off of cliffs!"

Meta Knight and Garlude just stared at the cliff as Jecra laughed his way back to their make shift camp. Confidence rolling off of him in obnoxiously loud waves.

"I-I thought that was just a myth." Garlude managed weakly, voice cracking under the strain of what she had just witnessed.

Meta Knight sighed, "We're never going to hear the end of this now."

AN - _I'm not even sorry_


	2. Make it too tough

Disclaimer: Not mine, at all. If I did own Meta Knight, he would certainly have his wings in _Hoshi no Kaabi_.

_Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out. _

Well, this was not how his plan was supposed to end.

How inconvenient.

With a grunt, Jecra slammed his shoulder against a pile of boulders that he couldn't actually see, in the vain hope his attempt might shift the weighty objects. "Oww..." he groaned pathetically, the stone blockade remaining firmly unmoved even under the warriors best effort.

'Useless lumps of uselessness' he grumbled inside his head.

"This is _entirely_ your fault" his comrade spoke in the darkness, the only light in the entire darkened chamber was coming from the soft glow of his two amber eyes. Perfectly protected behind his silver mask of course. If the comment hadn't sounded so wry, Jecra might have laughed at the image of two floating eyes roaming around the darkness behind him.

Instead Jecra rolled his eyes. "How was I supposed to know they'd shoot another bunch of boulders in front of the ones we'd already dropped to keep them out, so that now we're stuck in this pitch black, cavernous hole?" His tone was borderline shrewish.

The eyes floated to his right as he rammed his other shoulder against the offending mass of stone, grunting at the contact and consequent throb of his shoulder. "You could help you know" he added dryly as the golden glow seemed to gain a pink tint of amusement at his failing efforts.

Meta Knight watched his friend through the dark, or at least watched the area where he could hear his companion to be, "Oh no. I know a pointless effort when I see ...er... hear one. But you'll be explaining to Garlude why she had to dig us out."

Jecra froze in the blackness, the sudden silence from his armour alerting the Knight of his actions, "Anything but that!" the warrior wailed, pounding on the cave in with every ounce of strength he had, "She'll never let me live it down!"


	3. It's an Ambush

Disclaimer: Not mine ;P

_If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush_

Garlude was always warning Jecra not to get too confident in a battle. But something about the marvellous way her plan was coming together made it hard not to become a hypocrite. Glancing to her right, she caught a flash of golden as a purple blur rocketed down from the sky and took out several enemies in one long sweep, before returning to another area of undefeated demon beasts.

Jecra, to her left, was also clearing through his section of creatures with admirable ease. The pack they had encountered had been many times their size in numbers but that was quickly depleting.

Killing one last beast, she turned to greet the Knight as he also finished his section. "Well, a success. Don't you think?" she found it hard not to grin.

Jecra picked this moment to waltz over, sword resting on his right shoulder. "Damn right it was!"

Meta Knight's eyes flashed a sudden deep purple, "Erm...Garlude?"

The woman didn't hear him over Jecra's excited chatter, "And to think, I was worried this was a trap!" the yellow haired warrior laughed, sheathing his sword.

A blast of energy collided into the ground a few meters from Jecra's back.

Sighing, Jecra re-drew his sword, "I'll be quiet now" he groaned, tilting his head to look at the approaching wave of demon beast forces that had been waiting for them.

–


	4. That enemy Diversion your ignoring

_Disclaimer: Not mine ;P_

_That enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack._

"Sir! An enemy force approaches from the front, they'll be within sight in a minute or two." With a rushed salute, the small mouse like star warrior named Pip scampered away from the group.

"Attacking from the front? That's bold even for Nightmare" Meta Knight noted quietly, glancing at the ninja opposite him. Something about Yamikage put him on edge, he was an admirable warrior and though not exactly friendly, was companionable enough. But something about the way he _stared_ at the Knight left him uneasy.

The ninja nodded, "I agree, a diversion perhaps?" his deep voice gaining hesitant nods from Sir Arthur and Jecra.

Arthur sighed, "I've yet to know Nightmare attack without one when we've set up a strong hold like this. A diversion is how we'll treat this! Gather your squadrons and prepare a defensive perimeter all around camp, Yamikage will you send out scouts to find the main front?"

Yamikage didn't answer, but disappeared in a blast of smoke.

Coughing, Jecra pouted as he waved away the smoke, "Stupid Ninja, with their stupid smoke bombs"

"Jecra! You get to handle the diversion" Sir Arthur reprimanded, growling at the younger warrior even as he complained to Meta Knight that the diversion wouldn't be a challenge.

– five minutes later-

"_Meta Knight!"_ Jecra all but screamed. "_I take it back! Come help me_!"

Meta Knight sighed from his spot at the camp's right defensive line, "Not a diversion then..."

–


	5. Teamwork is essential

Disclaimer: Not mine :)

_Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at. _

"Are they _ever_ going to stop shooting at us?!" Jecra whined, the barrage of energy shots were pounding the boulder they were sheltering against, the speed of them not giving them enough time to counter the three small, but powerful beasts responsible.

"Why don't you ask them!" the Knight snapped, slightly sore that one of the shots had been lucky enough to take off his sword sheath. It had come entirely too close to his wing that one, and the loss of his favourite sheathe had not left him in any sweet mood.

"I'll make you a new one Meta Knight" Garlude added somewhat dryly, _"When_ we get out of this, we need to use teamwork here." Her own slightly agitated tone managed to cool his temper a little, but not completely free it of spite.

Jecra grinned a little at Meta Knight's ire, it was hard to annoy Meta Knight to the point where he would snap at you. Jecra knew this, it was his sole goal in life when the fighting lulled in camp, it was the best way for both of them to remain sane in this stupid war.

Still, occasionally, Meta Knight's anger could morph into some… unpleasant consequences for the shield bearing warrior.

Still grinning, Jecra turned to the irate Knight, "What we need is a good distraction, a _fast_ one." He added suggestively, the three of them knew Meta Knight was the fastest and making Meta Knight do all the hard work here was definitely something he was up to accomplishing.

So, what came next surprised him.

"_Good idea"_ the Knight growled with a tone that was _entirely_ too pleased, shoving the yellow-haired warrior out of the shelter.

Jecra gave a shriek of surprise, his sudden appearance causing a brief hault in the onslaught of energy balls at the demons surprise, and it was just enough time for Jecra to regain his head and quickly slice them apart.

Still a little stunned at what had happened, with his heart jack hammering away, Jecra turned to his previous shelter as his two companions appeared. Meta Knight appearing far too satisfied and Garlude far too amused.

Settling his adrenaline rush, Jecra gave them a shrewd glance, "that was cold Meta Knight even for you." He drawled with a dramatic flare of unreal dejection at the end.

"It was _fast_ wasn't it?" was all the Knight said, stalking his way passed his friend with an unmistakable air of '_Come near me again at the moment Jecra and you will limp home'. _

Garlude laughed at Jecra's sudden dejected expression, "That one _was_ your fault."

–


	6. Short of everything but the enemey

Disclaimer: Not mine :)

_If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone. _

"All right, so what do we have?" Meta Knight asked, his two friends glancing dishearteningly at each other before looking back to the Knight. They were deep in enemy controlled land with no way to call reinforcements with the base camps radio damaged and they were far from being well equipped. Not to mention the fact there were demon beasts just about every where.

Garlude sighed lowly, "About, enough water for a day..." she paused to think, before eventually shrugging. "Nothing else."

Jecra shrugged, "I have a smoke bomb that I…borrowed...from Yamikage."

Meta Knight fought the urge to sigh. "Definitely in Nightmare territory then. I'm beginning to sense a pattern here."

Suddenly, Jecra's radio piece crackled to life. "M-ta...-ght? Gar-ude? Jecra? C-n you hear me?" the static filled voice of Sir Arthur cleared a little as the trio moved a little to catch a better signal. "What is your location?"

Just then an explosion rang out in the same clearing, attracted by the signal coming from the radio.

"Did you just see that explosion?" Garlude asked dryly, drawing her sword.

"I see" Arthur replied, glancing into the far distance to see a faint smoke cloud rising above the dead tree line, "Only you three could get so far into a combat zone with no backup or supplies..."

Jecra held up his hand, even though Arthur couldn't see it, as the other hand drew his own sword. "For once though, not my fault."


	7. Being Shot Hurts

Disclaimer: Not mine!

_Being shot hurts. _

This wasn't how Meta Knight planned this particular day to end.

Well, who plans to have their day end by being shot out of the sky?

Not him at any rate.

Jecra had spotted his injured comrade falling from the sky and had cleared a path through the torrent of small fry demon beasts to get to the place where he predicted the Knight would land. Garlude had gone with Yamikage this time, and it was just the two of them now.

Meta Knight's left wing had taken a full hit and was now unbearably painful to move. His right wing was not so incapacitated, and by spinning and twisting his weight onto his right, he managed to descend in a series of wide spirals, slowing his speed enough that the landing itself didn't add to his injury. After all, if you know how to fly, and you live life in a war zone, you will get yourself killed if you haven't practiced such free falls.

Jecra was by his side by the time he hit the ground, and no demon beast could get within three feet of him while he recovered himself as best he could. "Meta Knight, are you all right?!"

The Knight glared at him, eyes flashing red through their previous pained shade of silver, "gettingshot_ hurts Jecra!"_

The shield wielding fighter chuckled, if he could be snarky, he was all right. "Well, anyone can lose focus in a battle, happens to the best of us" he laughed, obviously poking fun.

Meta Knight growled as he unsheathed his sword, his wing stung abominably, and while injured, he couldn't replace them with his cape. Still, his friend's teasing helped to draw his attention from it, "I did _not_ lose my focus Jecra."

"Sure you didn't" Jecra tossed a glance at him, now back to back with the Knight. It was a tight formation they had used many times when the other was injured. It was easier to support their team mate's weakness if they were closer together. Meta Knight was too busy taking out the three beasts coming at his side to take notice of his friend's scrutiny.

– Two Hours Later-

The pair of star warriors limped back into the designated meeting point turned camp site, a small wilting glade carefully hidden from watchful eyes and difficult to find if you didn't know it already existed. Garlude jumped to her feet and rushed over while Yamikage merely rolled his eyes in exasperation, this scene was one he had seen too often, although usually only one was limping.

"What happened?!" the lavender fighter exclaimed, examining the way Meta Knight's wing hung limply with a small of blood trailing from the tip and Jecra's rather obvious limp, leading him to lean on the Knight to walk properly.

"Bright eyes got shot" Jecra stated dryly.

Meta Knight growled, "And this idiot got himself shot saying that exact same sentence to me earlier instead of watching his enemy."

"I _do _see what you mean though, Meta Knight" Jecra chuckled painfully as the pair made their way over to the camp fire to relieve Garlude's worried fretting, "Getting shot _does_ hurt."


	8. The enemy knows it too

Disclaimer: Not mine :{

_When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too. _

It was nice to finally camp down for the night. Garlude examined their surroundings, a small open field surrounded on one side by a rising cliff face and on the other three sides by an extensive, but imposing forest.

It had been a hard won space. When they had arrived, it had been under Nightmare's control and they had been fighting for it most of the evening. Eventually, the demon beasts had been defeated and the stragglers had fled. The area around them had been scouted and secured, leaving the trio of warriors feeling both relieved and exhausted.

Still, the defeat of the beasts at least meant that they weren't hiding in the shadows tonight and could actually have a hot cup of tea.

The mood of the day had lightened immediately and Meta Knight and Jecra had soon begun throwing playful jibes at each other again, leaving Garlude feeling content and relaxed.

Their soft group discussion was broken suddenly as a demon beast flew out of a nearby tree and landed next to their camp fire.

It's dizzy appearance and sudden shocked expression, (If a winged-gecko demon could look as such) made it clear the thing had just woken up, and had no idea it was no longer standing in Nightmare's territory.

The stunned silence and consequent stare down lasted far longer than what all of them later thought it should have done.

Garlude growled, "Jecra, I thought you scouted the Northern border!"

Jecra stood, stooping to grab a stone and hurled it at the demon beast with a sudden howl of annoyance. "Go on! GET!" The beast was so shocked and confused it screeched in pain and fled into the night sky, desperate to get away from the three most deadly warriors in the entire Galaxy Soldier Army.

"It's not _my _fault that thing didn't know we secured the area!" Jecra defended after the thing had left their sight.

Meta Knight just drank his tea, deciding it wasn't worth the effort to actually face palm.

–


	9. It's always uphill

Disclaimer: Not mine peeps ;P

_No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill _

"If I never see a mountain again it will be too soon" Garlude mumbled, cursing the mission that had deemed they trek to the peak of this barren heap to retrieve some sacred jewel or another. Why not send someone with wings to get it?

Meta Knight held up his hands as Garlude suddenly seemed to peer at him, "It's too far even for me. I don't want to be here as much as you."

"Too far?" Garlude's tone turned to a chime of amusement and teasing.

The Knight smiled beneath his mask, "Too far." The Knight turned briefly, "Speaking of too far" his eyes flashed pink in amusement as Garlude glanced back at Jecra.

The yellow-haired fighter noticed and hurried to catch them up, "Don't tell me you two _aren't_ bored of walking up hill yet" he challenged as a defence for his minor lag.

Garlude snorted, "If Meta Knight can walk up this hill despite usually being able to fly, so can you"

Jecra slung his arm over the Knight's shoulders, "I never said I couldn't Garlude, I just don't want too. Haven't you two ever noticed we always seem to be trekking up things?"

Meta Knight found it harder to shrug with Jecra leaning on him, but he still managed it. "It could be worse, you could be walking up this with Pip or Rapid fire"

Pip was a good guy, just a little naïve and too eager to please everyone. He wasn't a strong fighter and was definitely one of the youngest, but every time he came on a mission with them he had a habit of wandering into danger. Rapid fire was a nickname for Sir Falspar who was a good fighter, but could talk anyone's ear off.

Jecra grinned in agreement, "you know what? I'm suddenly enjoying this trip."

–


	10. Never Draw fire

Disclaimer: Not mine~

_Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you. _

"Do you really think Jecra is all right?" Garlude asked the Knight quietly, peering out of the tree line they were currently concealed by, "Jecra's been gone for nearly ten minutes, all he had to do was scout the area."

Meta Knight sighed, "It's not Jecra I'm worried about, it's whatever he's going to drag us into I'm worried about. I could've sworn I heard him trying to draw some thing's attention a moment ago."

Garlude managed a smile up at the Knight perched on a tree branch above her, "Do you remember last time, when he fell in that river and then the waterfall? He was only supposed to get some fire wood."

"I wish I didn't remember, I am not a personal airship for that dolt to call upon every time he decides to fall off a cliff." The Knight scowled, drawing a soft laugh from below him.

Smiling at the memory of a bedraggled Jecra being unceremoniously dumped on the floor by a seething Knight from several metres up, Garlude glanced back at her long-time friend, "Come now, you two are the closest friends in the whole-"

Her teasing sentence was broken off by a series of explosions making their way to their location. The cause for them dashed out to greet them in the form of a puffing Jecra. "Found you!"

Two, large, dragon-like demon beasts erupted from around the corner Jecra had appeared from. "I thought I you said you were _not_ going to draw their attention!" Garlude shouted, pulling out her sword before hitting the other warrior around the back of the head.

"For once I would like you come back with out bringing something with you that wants to kill us" Meta Knight dead-panned, gliding down from his perch to Jecra's other side. "But I think that's wishful thinking".


	11. Walking Point Sniper Bait

Disclaimer: Not mine :)

Thank you so much for the reviews guys, they mean so much to me! :D

_Walking point = sniper bait _

Meta Knight would never admit it. But he really hated walking long distances. Even more so if he had to walk to said place because flying would put him under enemy attack.

"_I need you to meet Yamikage at the forest crossroads"_ Sir Arthur had told him, something about an important message or something or other the ninja had discovered.

Meta Knight would have been much less reluctant to go if the area wasn't swarming with insect-like demon beasts practically patrolling the sky.

Trekking along this small forest path, _uphill_, to make things more irritating, was only increasing his uneasiness that something was wrong.

An hour later though and his instincts had been wrong. Despite the urge to get in the air, the path was seeming like the safer option at the moment, better still, he was only a few minutes from the meeting point.

A rustle in a nearby bush halted his rising opinion of this walking business.

Alert, the Knight drew his blade.

Stalking towards the noise, a sudden flash of light caught his attention and his eyes widened in surprise behind his mask. The Knight shot to the side, avoiding a sudden barrage of shots as he drew closer, his speed throwing off their aim. Making quick work of the creatures, the Knight grumbled to himself "Damn ambushes. Damn walking..."

–

**AN -** This is all of them for now, I have a few prompts left I could write if people want me too though :)


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